Fix Me Up Doc! – Dark Humor For Mac

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Mac Osx
Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Macs
Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Mac Full

Best Dark Humor Death, drug abuse, bodily functions, gratuitous violence and hopeless losers can all be funny. If you couldn't really laugh at the bad stuff, then life would be a real drag. Fix: Hard drive cleanup. Thankfully, that’s an easy task. You can get CleanMyMac X and in free up tons of space in a few minutes. With CleanMyMac you don’t need to dig into folders and look for files you don’t need, the app will find and sort them, plus all the system junk your Mac has been accumulating for months.

Q: Why shouldn't you fart in an Apple Store?

A: They don't have Windows.

Funny Thoughts , Technology Jokes (PC Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Mac Jokes)

Anonymous

Doesn't it annoy you when

...there's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
...you buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
...there's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
...you're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
...you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you.
...someone says, 'well, to make a long story short' and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
...a friend or family member says 'Yuck! This is awful!!' and then tells you to try some.
...you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just looking around.
...you rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
...a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
...your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
...there's a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
...the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
...someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
...the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
...you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don't, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

Technology Jokes (Computer Jokes) , Technology Jokes (PC Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Mac Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Jokes about Families , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)

Anonymous

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said. 'We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

I can tell you, that fly never knew what hit it…

Funny Thoughts , Animal Jokes (Insect Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Mac Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandfather Jokes)

Anonymous

Q: Can you name Jobs that don't exist anymore?

A: Steve.

Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Technology Jokes (Mac Jokes)

Anonymous

Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a computer?

A: A quackintosh.

Technology Jokes (Mac Jokes) , Technology Jokes (Computer Jokes) , Technology Jokes (PC Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Duck Jokes) , Riddles

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Mac Osx

Anonymous

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Macs

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks 'What for?' She says, 'I want to kill my husband.' He says 'Sorry, I can't do that.' She then reaches into her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him. He says, 'You didn't tell me you had a prescription...'

Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Drug Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pharmacist Jokes)

Anonymous

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first - timer questions. One guy asked, 'If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?' Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, 'The rest of your life.'

Airplane Jokes (Crash Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sports Jokes

Anonymous

I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'

Relationship Jokes (Wedding Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)

Submitted BY: SillySandra

Q: How do frogs die?

A: They Kermit suicide!

Animal Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Riddles

Anonymous

Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. He was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe to I.D. him. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. 'Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over,' said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over, Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, 'Nope, dat ain't Bubba.' Not saying anything, but finding it a bit strange, the mortician brought in Billy-Joe to I.D. the body. 'Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll 'im over,' said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his butt and said, 'Dat ain't Bubba.' 'How can you tell?' asked the mortician. 'Cause Bubba had two assholes,' replied Billy-Joe. 'Two assholes? That's impossible!' said the mortician. 'Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two assholes, cause every time the three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes Bubba with them two assholes!'

Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Profession Jokes , Word Play Jokes

Fix Me Up Doc – Dark Humor For Mac Full

Anonymous